Seasons of Self
Two years ago I was drinking table wine in a back alley pizzeria in Rome before accidentally stumbling upon the Parthenon. This was after six weeks on the Southern Coast of Spain.
A season of wanderlust.
Ten years ago, I was waiting tables by day, singing with the band by night, and coming home to my precious, empty studio apartment in the San Fernando Valley.
A season of discovery.
Today, I find myself up at the crack of dawn so I can write this before my son wakes, because when he does, my time becomes his.
A different season entirely.
Ecclesiastes 3 tells us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
We don’t always notice the changing seasons. Especially as women, we tend to get so caught up in the day-to-day—the neverending to-do list and the pressure of forward momentum. Sometimes our only focus is getting to the next thing. But I often wonder if we aren't completely missing the point.
So often we find ourselves juggling numerous responsibilities—career, family, relationships, personal goals—all while trying to maintain balance. We carry the baggage of our pasts like talismans, all while striving toward some elusive life’s purpose. We think that “being our best selves” means being all things at all times. But this is a fallacy; we can’t experience every season of life at once any more than we can simultaneously live in spring, summer, fall, and winter.
Social media has exacerbated this issue. All day every day we are bombarded with curated content of women living the dream. “Hey mama, there’s no reason why you can’t be making thousands of dollars from home each week—retire your husband!” “Travel the world with your kids, we’ll show you how easy it is!” “Five reasons why homesteading is the best decision we ever made…” “Ten workouts to tone that new mom belly.”
I’m not knocking these influencers—they are doing their jobs and doing them well. But they add to the noise that women already hear so well. You must be this and that and this other thing, and you must be all of it at the same time.
Research from the American Psychological Association highlights the prevalence of stress among women, with 30% reporting extreme stress levels compared to 22% of men.
We’ve got to slow down. We must give ourselves some grace. Life is happening, and we are missing it.
I’ve been several women before, and I’ll be many different women in the future, but I can’t be them all at once. This is not my season for cocktails on the patio during a neverending Los Angeles afternoon. I’ve lived that already, and I probably will again someday. But someday is not today. And life is too fleeting to not be completely immersed in whatever season we’re in.
We don’t expect more from the first bloom of spring—it did its one job, fulfilling its seasonal purpose. Same, sister. You are the flower, not the field. Bloom, baby.
